


This Is What Makes Us Girls

by ziammehome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gender or Sex Swap, girl sex stuff, girl!Liam - Freeform, girl!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:42:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziammehome/pseuds/ziammehome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Liam, have I corrupted you more than I thought?” Zayn teased, sounding impressed from the side of the pool.<br/>Liam shrugged. “Maybe I was was just waiting to be corrupted.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is What Makes Us Girls

**Author's Note:**

> So it would appear I wrote girl ziam? Hopefully it's not too awful, and don't mind the Narry :)

“You almost ready, Li?” Liam heard her mother call from the kitchen, her voice carrying up to where Liam stood in her bedroom. “Yeah, I’m leaving in a minute,” she called back, taking one final look in the mirror. 

She turned, peering over her shoulder to survey herself from behind. Her sandy colored hair hung down her back, thick and wavy. It was curly when she was younger, but grown out it weighed the spirals down into neat waves. 

Liam tugged at her shirt, smoothing the hem out to lay smoothly against her jeans. She was dissatisfied with her outfit, with something in her appearance she couldn’t quite put her finger on. With a shrug and a resigned sigh, she admitted defeat and picked up her backpack, following her mother’s voice down the stairs. 

“You don’t want to be late,” her mother chided as she entered the kitchen. Liam snorted to herself, as if she hadn’t been driving her self to school, _on time_ , for the past six months. 

“I know,” she answered amiably, allowing her mother a peck on the cheek before she was out the door and down the driveway.

 Her mother meant well, she really did, she just treated Liam like a child. She fussed when she came home late, worried over her report cards even though Liam had never brought home anything but A’s. Liam sometimes wondered how her mother would handle a teenager who _actually_ caused trouble. 

But Liam humored her, dutifully informing her mother of her plans when she went out, keeping her updated on classes and swim practices with minimal eye rolling. It wasn’t in her nature to put up a fight over it, and she knew it made her mom happy. 

 

Liam climbed into the driver’s seat of her car, swinging her backpack onto the passenger seat beside her. She drove an old beat up red jeep, complete with plastic zip down windows. Maybe not Liam’s _first_ choice of car, if she had her way, but it was a hand me down from her older brother when he left for college. It rumbled to life reliably every morning, and Liam had grown fond of the clunker since she got her license a few months ago. It drove smoothly, taking her down the familiar roads to school.

Liam pulled into her usual spot in the school parking lot, a few cars down from where Daniel and his friends were already gathered. They were leaning against his sleek car, and one of them seemed to be regaling the group with a story as the others laughed. 

 

Liam hopped out of her car, grabbing her bag and walking to join them somewhat reluctantly. It was that she didn’t _like_ Daniel’s friends, most of them members of the football team like her boyfriend. But you can only hear so many stories about keg stands before it gets old. Combine that with an unhealthy dose of testosterone and a plethora of sandwich jokes and...yeah, not exactly her scene. 

And it wasn’t really Daniel’s either, if she was being honest. He might seem like a typical jock, but he was sweet, different when he wasn’t around his friends. 

“Hey babe,” he greeted with a smile as Liam approached, reaching to wrap an arm around her shoulders as she joined him. “You look hot today,” he added, his eyes flitting down before meeting hers once again. 

“Thanks,” she blushed, smiling up at him. Daniel turned back to his friends, put kept his arm around Liam, pressing her to his side. 

They had met a year and a half ago, when Daniel joined the swim team to keep in shape while football was off. He was cute and charming, and everyone expected them to get together. And then they just sort of...did. They worked well together. They were both athletic, both straight A students. It made sense for them to be together. 

Daniel spoke beside her, pulling Liam from her thoughts.  

 “Nah I haven’t seen her yet, have you?” he asked, nodding towards Andy. “Nope, not yet,” Andy answered, shaking his head. “But Marcus saw her family moving in down the street from them, said she was quite the piece of ass.” 

The other boys howled appreciatively at that, laughing and calling dibs. 

“Who are you talking about?” Liam asked, tilting her head to look up at Daniel. 

“There’s a new girl starting today, moved into Marcus’ neighborhood apparently,” he explained. 

“Fresh meat,” one of the boys added under his breath, earning a fist bump from Andy and jeers from the other guys. 

Liam just rolled her eyes. Another downside to hanging out with Daniel and his friends, listening to their incessant, and often disgusting in her opinion, ogling of girls. 

 

Just then, Andy elbowed Daniel hard in the ribs. “Dude, I think that’s her,” he said quietly, nodding behind them. Everyone turned just in time to see a girl roll up on a skateboard. She was about Liam’s height and slim, with tan skin and long black hair trailing behind her. She had on skinny jeans cuffed above beat up vans, and a t shirt with a sunflower on the front. A few of the boys let out low whistles under their breath. 

Liam had to admit she was stunning, she looked like freedom and confidence incarnate. She was gorgeous. 

 

“Hey baby lemme show you something else you can ride,” one of the players called as his friends snickered. 

But the girl barely turned her head as she passed, instead offering her middle finger to the group without even slowing down. 

 

“Bitch,” Andy muttered, looking at her distastefully as she rode away. 

“Hey, don’t be an asshole,” Liam countered, embarrassed by their asinine behavior. 

Andy turned towards her sharply, his expression changing from pissed off to amused. “Someone needs to wash her mouth out,” he smirked, reaching out to toy with a strand of Liam’s hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard the Princess swear before.” 

Liam fumed, she hated when he called her that, and hated even more when he touched her hair. She looked to Daniel for help but he just shrugged, smiling apologetically. 

“I’ve got to get to class,” she snapped, disentangling herself from Daniel’s arm and storming off. 

 

“Babe, wait,” she heard Daniel call after her, and she paused long enough for him to catch up. 

“I’m sorry about them, I know they’re idiots,” he said placatingly, reaching a hand up to stroke her cheek. “See you at lunch?” he asked hopefully. 

Liam sighed, shaking off her frustration. “Yeah, of course, sorry I got upset,” she nodded, giving him a small smile. 

“It’s okay, babe, don’t worry about it,” he said reassuringly, leaning down to kiss her cheek. He left to rejoin his friends for the last few minutes before school, and Liam walked off to her first class. 

 

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Liam listened in her classes, took notes, raised her hand when she knew the answer. She kept an eye out for the new girl, wondering if she would be in any of her classes. But she didn’t see her again, and Liam didn’t know why she was a little disappointed by that. 

 

Lunch rolled around and Liam found herself making her way to her usual table, taking a her seat between Daniel and Louis. “Liam!” Louis squealed, moving over to make room for her on the bench and delving into her usual prattle. 

Louis was Liam’s best friend, although sometimes Louis’ exuberance made her regret that decision. Louis was into drama, in more ways than one. She starred in most of the school’s productions, wooing the audience with her blinking blue eyes and pouty lips. She was loud, on stage and off, a strange foil for Liam’s quieter nature. 

“-and I swear to god it was like she’d never heard of iambic pentameter. Are you even listening to me?” Louis accused, narrowing her eyes at Liam. 

“Of course I am,” Liam lied, giving Louis a sweet smile and a nod to continue. “But anyway,” Louis said, flipping her hair over her shoulder, “I think I have the part pretty locked down.” 

“Like you were ever worried,” Liam teased, “you’ve known you were a shoe in since they announced the play.” 

“True,” Louis agreed, making a noise of satisfaction before finally turning to her food.

 

“Babe, you’re coming to the party tomorrow night right?” Daniel asked, “after the game?”

“Yeah, of course,” Liam said with a smile. Daniel grinned back, dropping a hand to rest it on Liam’s thigh. 

“Who is _that_?” Louis sneered next to her, and Liam lifted her eyes to see the girl from this morning, strutting into the cafeteria with her tray. 

“New girl, her name’s Zayn,” Niall answered from a few seats away. “She’s in my bio class,” Niall continued, rearranging her blonde hair against her shoulders. “Her family just moved here, she seems nice,” Niall shrugged before returning to her food. 

Niall was a cheerleader, but she didn’t buy into the popularity hype like others did. She was easy going, and Liam had always gotten along with her easily. 

 

The girl, Zayn, passed by their table, surveying the room for somewhere to sit. She was closer than she had been this morning, and Liam could see the dark ink painting the skin of her forearms. 

“Nice outfit, how are the 1990s” Louis scoffed audibly, clearly loud enough for Zayn to hear. 

“Louis!” Liam chided, elbowing her in the ribs. Zayn rolled her eyes and set off for an empty table at the edge of the room. 

“That was really mean,” Liam continued, scolding Louis. 

“Oh come on, she’ll get over it,” Louis sighed, clearly not concerned. 

Liam went back to her food, but she couldn’t get her mind off the girl sitting alone a few tables away. 

 

It was raining by the time school ended, fat drops speckling the asphalt of the parking lot, leaving dust trails in the windshields of cars. Liam jogged to her car, covering her head feebly with her bag. Once inside she hurried to get the windows zipped up, she had left them partly open in the pleasant morning weather. 

Liam loved rain. She loved the way it smelled, the way it left trees and bushes a vibrant green. It reminded her of blankets and tea and naps, and those were all extremely good things in Liam’s mind.

She was a few blocks out of the school parking lot when she saw Zayn, skateboarding down the sidewalk despite the downpour. She was squinting through the rain, already drenched from the short ride. 

 

Liam hesitated a few moments before pulling up beside her, slowing down until her car was flush with the curb. She leaned far to unzip the passenger side window. 

“Do you want a ride?” she called nervously, hoping Zayn could hear her over the rain. 

Zayn seemed to consider for a moment, cocking her head to one side and surveying Liam. Her hair was wet and dripping, framing her face. 

“I’m all wet,” she warned after a moment, as if Liam wanted to reconsider. 

“It’s fine,” Liam shook her head, unlocking the passenger side door. 

 

Zayn clambered in, balancing her dripping skateboard across her knees. 

“Thanks,” she offered, buckling her seatbelt,  “sick car by the way.” 

“Thanks, and don’t worry about it” Liam said with a smile. “You’re Zayn right?” 

Zayn seemed caught off guard that Liam knew her name, but nodded anyway. 

“Sorry, news gets around fast when people are new I guess,” Liam assured, not wanting to seem creepy. “I’m Liam.”

Zayn shivered in her wet clothes, and Liam reached to turn the heat up in the car. Her t shirt was soaked through, clinging to her skin and hanging a bit off her shoulder.

 

“So where do you live?” Liam asked, tearing her eyes from Zayn and focusing them back on the wet road. 

“Over on Mill Road?” Zayn replied, and Liam nodded. She knew the neighborhood, a few blocks away from her own.

 

“So what do you like to do for fun?” Liam asked, hoping to spark some sort of conversation as she drove. 

Zayn hummed, gazing out the window for a moment before responding. “I like to read, I like to skate,” she added with a smile, gesturing to her board. “I like to draw,” Zayn finished with a shrug. Of course her hobbies are impossibly cool, Liam thought hopelessly to herself. The rain was loud against the windshield for a silent moment in the car. 

 

 “What about you?” she asked, turning towards Liam

“I like to sing,” Liam started, trying desperately to think of anything interesting to say about herself. “I used to play soccer, but now I’m more into swimming.”

Zayn groaned at that and Liam looked at her inquisitively. 

“Sorry, thats cool, it really is,” Zayn explained. “I just _hate_ swimming. Water freaks me the fuck out,” she said. 

“Bad experience?” Liam asked inquisitively. 

“I don’t even have that excuse,” Zayn laughed, shaking her head. “I’ve just always hated it.” 

They had arrived at Zayn’s neighborhood by then, and Liam followed Zayn’s directions before pulling up in front of an impressively big house. 

“Thanks for the ride,” Zayn said, friendlier towards Liam than she had been at the start of the drive. 

“Hey, so there’s this party tomorrow night, after the game,” Liam began, putting her car into park. “You should come,” she added, hoping Zayn would accept her invitation. 

But Zayn looked skeptical. “I’m not sure that’s exactly my scene,” she said warily. “I doubt your friends want me there,” she adds. And Liam can’t really blame her for that. 

 

“I, I wanted to apologize for what happened at lunch,” Liam said awkwardly. “...and this morning,” she continued cringing at the memory. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Zayn replied, shrugging it off.

“They can sometimes come off as jerks, especially Louis, but they’re nice once you get to know them I promise-” 

Zayn scoffed, interrupting Liam.

“No offense, but nice people think everyone is nice,” she said, catching Liam off guard. 

“I-” Liam started, unsure of what to say. 

“And you do seem genuinely nice,” Zayn added. “So if you ever want to hang out without the posse, I’d be down. But I’ll pass on the party, yeah?” 

It was something, and the prospect of hanging out with Zayn more was inexplicably exciting to Liam.

“Alright,” Liam agreed, smiling at Zayn. 

“Cool,” Zayn nodded, “and thanks again for the ride.”

 

And then she was out the door, making her way up the steps to her house with her skateboard in tow, leaving Liam buzzing and confused in the car. 

 

 

The next night, Liam found herself pouring out of the stadium with the rest of the school, spilling out into the not quite chilly night air. They had won the game, and everyone was piling into cars and heading to the post-game party one of the players was throwing at his house. 

Liam hopped into her jeep, joined by Louis in the passenger seat. 

“Did you _see_ how hot Evan looked tonight?” Louis gushed as soon as the doors were shut. “Fuck, his ass in those pants. I might have to get laid tonight,” she finished contemplatively, pulling on her seatbelt. 

Liam just giggled, she was used to Louis’ boldness, especially with guys. She knew what she wanted, and 99% of the time she ended up getting it. Liam knew she wouldn’t be surprised to see her tangled up with one of the players later that night. 

 

And sure enough, as soon as they arrived at the party, Louis was off like a shot. She snagged a drink for herself and handed one to Liam, leaving her with a kiss on the cheek and orders to “have some fun tonight, for once!” 

And Liam didn’t know what she meant by that, because Liam has fun _all the time._ Ok, maybe she doesn’t really drink (in fact, she left her own bottle in someone else’s hands at the first opportunity) but she has fun. She does. She’s just not as into partying as everyone else is. 

Not knowing where Louis went, Liam made her own way around the party. She found Niall cheerful and drunk on the dance floor, buzzing with energy. She tried to rope Liam into dancing with her, but she declined with a giggle and left Niall with a cute tennis player Liam knows she’d been eyeing. 

 

It had been about an hour when Liam was growing restless. The lights were too bright, the house too crowded, and people too drunk to handle when sober. Liam felt the familiar divide growing between she and her friends. Even without the alcohol, Liam frequently felt this way. Separated from the people around her, alone when everyone else was having fun. She didn’t know what it was, but it threatened to swallow her whole. 

 

She pushed herself off the couch, picking her way past a couple making out, and decided to find Daniel. She knew he was here, but she hadn’t seen him since the game. He was probably drunk somewhere, but putting up with him was better than sitting alone on a couch. 

The music was loud, forcing her to shout as she asked familiar faces if they’d seen him. No one seemed to know, or were too drunk to help, answering her query with slurred phrases or dazed grins. 

 

She shoved her way through the crowd, dodging sloshing cups of who knows what. The living room ended, giving way to less crowded hall. 

“Daniel?” Liam called over the music, opening the first door to find an empty coat closet. “Daniel?” she continued, calling his name down the hall. 

The third door she opened, she was met with two dark figures, naked and clearly...busy, on the bed . 

“Shit, sorry-” she started, hastening to shut the door until something caught her eye. On the ground, at her feet, lay a jersey with a familiar number. 

She reluctantly let her eyes wander back to the bed, a sinking feeling in her stomach. 

 

She squinted in the darkness, trying to make out the faces of the people tangled together on the bed. 

“D-Daniel?” she asked, her voice almost cracking. 

“What do you wan-” he turned, sounding pissed at the interruption until he saw who was standing there. 

“Fuck, babe, I-” he stammered, hurriedly trying to cover himself with sheets. Liam lifted a shaking hand to flip on the light in the bedroom. 

And there was the very last person she expected to see.

On the bed, panting beneath Daniel and very much naked was Louis, guiltily wiping her mouth and sitting up. 

 

“Liam, I, we were-” Louis started, already adopting a fake tone of voice. 

The last thing Liam wanted was to stay and listen to their bullshit explanations. She could already feel tears welling in her eyes, and she felt sick to her stomach.

She left the room, pushing through the crowd. She just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. 

A few people gave her inquisitive looks as she hurried out, but most of them were too drunk to notice anything was wrong. 

An arm caught her’s as she was almost to the door, and Liam turned to find Niall there, concern in her eyes. 

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, taking in Liam’s watery eyes and trembling lips. Niall was obviously still drunk, swaying on her feet and her other arm attached to the waist of a guy Liam didn’t recognize. 

She appreciated the concern, but Liam didn’t feel like sticking around to chat, didn’t want to be at the party a moment longer. 

“I’m fine, thanks,” she said, pulling Nialls hand off her arm and continuing her retreat. She saw Niall frown after her, but she just kept going. 

 

Moments later, Liam was out front, gasping in the fresh night air. It was cool but not quite chilly, yet there were goosebumps on her arms as she picked her way across the lawn. Her head was spinning, she was angry. She was hurt, she didn’t know what to do. 

She couldn’t get the image out of her head, her boyfriend and her best friend. Ex boyfriend, ex best friend, she corrected in her mind. 

She wandered down the street to where she had parked, unsure of what else to do. Her hands were shaking as they grasped the steering wheel of her car, and she gave herself a few moments to calm down before she drove. 

 

Her eyes flitted to the empty passenger seat beside her, and a thought struck Liam. She started the car, heading down familiar streets until she found Zayn’s neighborhood. 

Before she knew it, she was out front, and the craziness of what she was doing hit her. 

Liam didn’t know Zayn. They had talked all of one time, and letting someone give you a ride home isn’t exactly an invitation to stop by whenever you like. 

 

But she _had_ said she was interested in hanging out sometime...and the truth was, Liam didn’t know where else to go. All of her “friends” were still at the party, and she didn’t feel like going home and answering her mother’s questions right now.

So with a few deep breaths, she hopped out of the car, hurrying up the path to the door before her brain could catch up with her. 

Liam hesitated only a moment before ringing the doorbell, the chime echoing faintly through the house. Her eyes took in the impressively large door, the wide windows lining the front of the house. The entire facade was gorgeous, really. 

A few moments passed and Liam heard footsteps inside, the scratching of a dog on the door and a faint voice scolding. 

The door opened to reveal Zayn, leaning down to scoop up a little grey bulldog before it could escape. 

She straightened, cradling the dog in her arms, her eyes widening with recognition when her eyes met Liam’s. 

“Hi,” she said, clearly surprised to see her. 

 

Liam wasn’t sure how she was going to explain what she was doing here. On Zayn’s doorstep. At about midnight. 

“I-uh-hey!” Liam greeted, panicking internally. “I, um, was at that party, the one I told you about.” 

Zayn raised her highbrows a little, waiting for further explanation. The dog wriggled in her arms, and Zayn shifted it around, rearranging. 

Liam wanted to tell her about Daniel, wanted to tell her the real reason why she had shown up here so suddenly. But she didn’t know how to articulate it, didn’t want to say the words and make it real just yet. 

“...and it just wasn’t very fun! You were right. So here I am.” She finished with a forced smile, sure she sounded insane. 

Zayn looked skeptical but shrugged, moving aside to let liam into the house. 

 

“This is Georgia,” she explained, setting the dog back on the ground once the door was closed. It stayed close to Zayn, weaving around her ankles and skittering across the tile floor before deciding to sniff at Liam’s shoes. 

“She’s cute,” Liam cooed, stooping down to pet at the dog’s soft fur, scratching it behind the ears and letting it graze its rough tongue across her ankles. 

They were in a foyer, ivory tiles on the floor and a large staircase sweeping down from the upper floor to end a few feet away from the front door.

The house itself may have been ornate, but the furniture and decorations were minimal. All clean, sharp lines and cool dark colors. It was elegant but stark. 

 

 Zayn herself looked strangely our of place, wearing ratty cut offs and an oversized sweater. Her hair was a mess, a dark tangle down her back, but somehow on her, it looked chic. 

“I was just gonna smoke a bowl,” Zayn called over her shoulder as she wandered towards the staircase. “You can join me if you want,” she continued, stopping to wait for Liam. 

Liam fiddled with her shirt awkwardly, already regretting her decision to come. 

“I, I haven’t ever really...” she trailed off uncomfortably. 

Zayn smirked at her a little, amused but not unkind. “Smoked pot?” she offered, finishing Liam’s sentence. 

Liam nodded nervously. 

“Well, I can show, or you can opt out,” she shrugged, letting Liam know she wouldn’t be judged either way. 

 

Liam nodded, and followed Zayn up the staircase. Georgia bounded ahead of them, pouncing up the stairs and disappearing into a doorway at the top. 

“This one’s my room,” Zayn explained, leading Liam into the same doorway the dog had entered. 

 

The contrast between the rest of the house and Zayn’s room was immediate. Zayn’s room had a cozy, lived in feel. There were multicolored Christmas Lights strung around the ceiling, and a big rumpled bed in the middle of the room. 

Posters and pictures hung around the walls, and in the far corners were two squishy looking mismatched arm chairs. Georgia had curled up in the seat of one of them, panting at the girls from across the room. 

 

Zayn wandered easily around the room, picking up a few objects before crossing to the open window. She swung a leg over the window sill, glancing up at Liam who still stood awkwardly in the doorway. 

“Well, come on,” she said with a smile, lifting the other leg over and disappearing out onto the roof. 

 

Liam followed cautiously, peeking out the open window before clambering carefully onto the sill. The roof outside of Zayn’s window was wide and barely slanted, leaving a reasonably safe perch. 

Zayn was sitting on the tiles about halfway down, fiddling with a pipe. Liam joined her, moving carefully down until she was at Zayn’s side. It was dark on the roof, despite the light from the room behind them the world below Liam was silhouette and shadows. 

 

“I smoke out here, so my dad doesn’t notice the smell or anything,” Zayn explained, gesturing back into her room. 

“Is your dad here?” Liam wondered, watching Zayn’s moving hands with fascination a she packed the bowl. 

“Nah,” Zayn shook her head. “Off on a business trip or something,” she shrugged, seemingly unfazed. 

Zayn had apparently finished whatever she was doing, and was raising the pipe to her lips to light it. The lighter illuminated her face briefly in the darkness, flaring yellow, shadows flickering across her skin. 

 

Zayn held her breath for a few moments before exhaling, smoke pouring out over her lips and dissipating into the darkness. 

“Wanna try?” she inquired, offering the pipe to Liam. Her voice sounded just the slightest bit rough from the smoke, velvet instead of satin. “You don’t have to,” she qualified, and Liam believed her. She didn’t feel pressured or obligated to. 

She hesitated. And she almost said no. But memories of the events of the night and the way Zayn was sitting so close to her on the roof had Liam agreeing, nodding nervously at Zayn. 

 

“Alright,” Zayn said, handing the pipe to Liam. “Just hold to your lips, yeah like that,” she instructed, directing Liam’s hands. “Now breathe in, and try to hold it for a few seconds before letting it out, yeah? That way it can get into your lungs and everything,” Zayn explained. 

 Liam nodded, trying to steady her hands on the pipe. She breathed in slowly, following Zayn’s instructions. She fought the instinct to cough as her eyes watered. She was successful for a second or two before sputtering, glancing at Zayn apologetically. 

“No that was good, that happens to everyone,” Zayn assured, accepting the pipe back from Liam and taking a hit of her own. 

They sat like that for a few long moments, passing it back and forth. Liam was relieved that her second and third tries were better than her first, keeping the coughing to a minimum. 

 

Liam was feeling lighter, looser, which made her open her mouth to tell Zayn the real reason she had come. 

“Daniel cheated on me,” she said softly, scraping her shoe tentatively against the tiles on the roof. 

“What?” Zayn asked, sitting up from where she’d been laying back against the slope. 

“My boyfriend. That’s why I left the party,” Liam continued, her mouth feeling dry as she spoke. “I caught him with another girl...my best friend actually,” she added quietly. 

“Shit,” Zayn let out, low and drawn out. A moment of silence passed.

Suddenly she was up, climbing back up the roof and into her room. 

“I know what you need,” she called as she pulled herself back through the window. 

“What?” Liam asked, confused by Zayn’s sudden departure. 

Liam could hear Zayn moving things around in her room, and what sounded like a drawer opening and shutting.

Zayn’s head poked back out through the window a few moments later, the rest of her body following as she climbed back onto the roof. In her hand was a bottle, nearly full of reddish liquid. 

“Your boyfriend cheated on you, clearly getting drunk is the only viable option,” she explained matter of factly, settling back beside Liam and unscrewing the lid. 

“Oh, I...” Liam trailed off, surprised. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve never drank before either,” Zayn said, dumbfounded but teasing. Her hair was tossed to one side, her sweater slipping a little off her shoulder as she side-eyed Liam. 

“No, I have!” Liam protested. “Just not like, much,” she clarified, wrinkling her nose at the memory of tequila shots, burning down her throat at Louis’ sweet sixteen. 

 

“This stuff is good, its sweet,” Zayn assured her as she offered the bottle, as if reading Liam’s mind. Liam closed her hand the neck and took a tentative swig, unsure of what to expect.

The slight burn was still there, but it wasn’t overwhelming, masked in the sticky sweetness of the cherry. 

“See? Not bad,” Zayn said, reaching for the bottle and taking a swig of her own.

 

Liam didn’t know how much time had passed, but the bottle was nearly gone and Liam was pretty sure she was drunk. Somehow after the first few rounds they had stopped passing the bottle back and forth, and Liam had kept it tight in her hand as she’d regaled Zayn with tales of she and Daniel’s relationship. 

“He sounds like kind of a dick to be honest,” Zayn observed, lying back and crossing her hands behind her head. 

“Yeah, a total dick!” Liam agreed loudly, “He was a dick.” She settled down next to Zayn, lying back against the slanted tiles of the roof.  

 

“I dated a guy a lot like him once,” Zayn started, keeping her eyes trained on the sky above them.

“Yeah?” Liam asked, curious. 

“Yeah,” Zayn replied, “I caught him cheating on me. Fucker.” The word sounded bitter. 

“What did you do?” Liam wondered, her mind swirling as she tried to piece her own life together. 

“I dumped him,” Zayn replied flatly. “Well, first I spray painted a cock on his skateboard. Then I dumped him,” she amended with a giggle, and Liam laughed along with her. 

Liam sighed. “I wish I could be like you,” she breathed out, and Zayn snorted at her side. 

“You don’t want to be like me, trust me,” she offered, reaching for the bottle and taking a long drink. 

“But you’re brave, you don’t care about what other people think,” she argued, frustrated with herself, with her life. 

“You don’t have to either, you know,” Zayn offered. And Liam wanted to tell her that it wasn’t that easy, that it was more complicated than that. But she couldn’t find the words, was too far gone to try. 

She opted instead to take another long drink, relishing the burn it left in her throat and the feeling of being pulled further in. 

 

The moon seemed huge in the sky, framed by branches of the trees that stood in Zayn’s yard. It had gotten cooler, but Liam felt hot all over. Her flower printed shirt and white jeans felt strangely tight on her body. Zayn lit a cigarette beside her, the tip glowing in the darkness of the roof. 

“Its like, its like entropy,” Liam slurred, her lips shaping themselves around the word strangely. 

“Huh?” Zayn breathed, the word floating out with a stream of smoke. 

“We learned about it in science last year. Entropy, like, things that seem like they make sense. Things that seem like they’re in order. They eventually just slip into chaos.” Liam explained. Her thoughts were jumbled, her mind floating. 

“Fuck, you are drunk,” Zayn laughed, taking another long drag off her cigarette. Her legs were long and thin, bent at the knee and silhouetted in the moonlight. Liam watched her lips wrap around her cigarette, held between two tan fingers. Her black hair was spread around her like a halo, caught on the rough tiles of the roof. 

 

“You’re like chaos,” Liam said, the words slipping out without her permission. 

Zayn laughed, looking at Liam from the corner of her eyes. 

“We’re all chaos,” Zayn countered, turning her gaze back up to the sky. “Some of us just show it a little more than others. I wear mine on the outside, “ she continued. “On my skin,” she added with a smirk, rolling up her sleeves and gesturing to the dark ink swirled across her arms.

“And you,” Zayn said, leaning up on one elbow to look at Liam, her hair falling like a glossy curtain. “You keep yours on the inside, but it’s there. I’ve seen it in your eyes.”

She said it like a secret, low and close, her mouth pulled up into a smirk. 

She was silhouetted agains the moonlight, still leaning over Liam. Liam’s vision was blurry but she felt like she could see Zayn perfectly. Every detail swimming before her, incredibly real and alarming close. 

 

And then Liam was leaning up, uninhibited and impulsive. Her aim was off but she managed to find Zayn’s lips, pressing against them for a fleeting eternity. They were warm and soft, and when Liam licked her lips after they tasted like cherry and cigarette smoke. Perfectly bitter and perfectly sweet. 

Liam lied back against the roof sleepily, raising the bottle to her lips to finish off the last swig. Zayn stayed up on one elbow, watching Liam curiously for a moment before lying back down. 

 

A bark from Georgia inside the room startled both girls a few minutes later, pulling them from their thoughts. Liam sat up abruptly, swaying a little as he drunkenness caught up with her. 

“Whoa,” Zayn cautioned, grabbing Liam’s arm to steady her as she teetered. “Come on,” she giggled, helping Liam climb up to the window. “Don’t fall off the fucking roof.”

Liam pulled herself through the window sill with the help of Zayn’s guiding hands, knocking her head on the window frame in the process. 

She stumbled a little once in the room, swaying on her feet. 

“You’re pretty smashed,” Zayn said, following Liam through the window and shutting it behind them. “Do you wanna just crash here tonight?”

Liam nodded sleepily, in a daze. 

 

She registered Zayn flipping off the lights in the room, leaving the Christmas lights to glow. Liam’s clothes felt itchy and hot against her skin, and she shed her shirt and pants before slipping between the sheets in her bra and underwear. They were chilly against her bare skin, but Liam was too tired to care, too tired to notice anything except the softness of the pillow beneath her head. 

Liam was already asleep by the time Zayn did the same, shedding her shorts and sweater and shivering as she crawled into bed beside Liam. 

 

Liam awoke slowly the next morning, blinking in the bright sunlight of the room. Her head was pounding, and it felt like something was licking her hand. She focused her gaze downward, puzzled to find a small grey bulldog lapping at her fingers where they dangled off the bed. 

She let her eyes wander sleepily around the room, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings.  Pieces of the night before came back to her. Daniel. The party. She groaned as she remembered. 

And then she had ended up at Zayn’s unannounced, getting herself embarrassingly drunk. 

Great. 

 

Liam turned over cautiously, careful not to jostle the bed or move too quickly.  Zayn was lying beside her, her smooth back facing Liam. She was only in underwear, and Liam could see a ruffle of lacy peeking out where the covers lay draped across her waist. Her black hair was fanned out behind her in a messy tangle across the pillow. She looked lovely. 

Liam lied motionless for a few moments, uncertain of what to do. She panicked a little, anticipating the awkwardness when Zayn woke up. What if she had embarrassed herself last night? Or had embarrassed herself by showing up in the first place? They had only talked once before, she could hardly count Zayn as one of her close friends. But from what she remembered Zayn had seemed welcoming, unfazed by Liam’s surprising arrival. 

 

 Liam settled on staying where she was, gazing around Zayn’s room. Or what she could see of it without moving around too much, at least. 

The same christmas lights and peeling posters looked different in the light of day. The walls that had been close and cozy the night before were more open, more airy in the dim sunlight that was filtering through the windows.

A few moments later, Zayn stirred. She turned from where she lay on her side, rolling onto her back and stretching. Her muscles went taught as she stretched, her nipples jutting up into the air as her back arched off the bed. Liam’s eyes widened. 

It wasn’t like Liam hadn’t seen other girls naked before, being on the swim team practically ensured it. But it had never affected Liam like this, had never given her a feeling in the pit of her stomach she couldn’t quite name. She blushed and looked away, not wanting to get caught staring. 

 

Zayn relaxed with a sigh, now lying flat on her back. “Hey,” she said to Liam conversationally, as if she weren’t lying mostly naked a mere foot away. 

 Liam felt a rush of anxiety again. 

 “Hey,” she mumbled back awkwardly, forcing herself to meet Zayn’s eyes. 

 

“How do you feel?” Zayn asked, one of her eyebrows quirking up and the corner of her lips lifting slightly. Her voice sounded low and sleep heavy. “You were pretty hammered last night,” she continued.  

Liam was still curled onto her side, mere inches away from where Zayn lay comfortably on her back, her arms relaxed above her head. A small part of her absurdly wanted to reach out and touch, to run her finger down Zayn’s smooth skin. 

Liam cleared her throat before answering, praying her own voice wouldn’t crack. 

“I’m fine,” she answered, “a bit thirsty and my head feels like it weighs a ton, but other than that...” Liam finished with a small smile. 

Zayn laughed at that, her eyes crinkling up and her nose wrinkling a little. Liam felt disproportionately pleased to have made Zayn laugh. 

 

“Yeah, I’m not surprised,” Zayn replied with a giggle. “Let’s get you some water, yeah?” she added, rolling over to flip her legs over the side of the bed.

Liam sat up as well, disentangling herself from the cushy comforter. She hunted for her clothes on the floor, finally finding them crumpled near the foot of the bed. She was straightening them out when Zayn spoke. 

 

 “You can borrow something clean if you want, those probably smell like weed,” she offered, and Liam turned at the sound. 

Zayn had pulled on a t shirt, it’s hem hanging just below the tops of her thighs. Her hair was still messy from sleep and she looked unbelievably cute, on top of her usual effortless cool. 

Liam eyed her wrinkled and unappealing looking shirt, considering. “Yeah, that would be nice, thank you,” she finally nodded. 

She folded her clothes and set them on the foot of the bed before following Zayn to her closet. 

 

“You can take whatever you want,” Zayn said nonchalantly, gesturing to the racks of clothes with a shrug. She stood aside to let Liam browse. 

Zayn’s closet was a hodgepodge, a mix of black and bright colors, faded t shirts living harmoniously alongside party dresses. Shirts dangled half off their hangers, and the floor was littered with shoes and discarded clothing. 

It all looked very...Zayn. 

 

Not wanting to waste time, Liam quickly settled on a pair of cut off shorts and a plain white t shirt folded on one of the shelves. 

Or, Liam had thought it was a t shirt, but further inspection revealed that it was a tank top, the arm holes cut low. She didn’t want to go through the awkwardness of putting it back, so she pulled it on anyway, trying to ignore the way it revealed her pink lacy bra at her sides. 

The shorts fit, thankfully, but hugged Liam’s toned thighs where she guessed they would have hung loosely off Zayn’s skinny ones. 

 

“Looks good on you,” Zayn piped up from where she stood, leaning against the closet door patiently. Her eyes scanned Liam up and down as she spoke, making Liam squirm under her gaze. 

She was sure she looked ridiculous, unable to pull of the clothes the way Zayn would, falling short of the effortlessness that made everything Zayn did seem amazing. 

But Zayn was watching her, her eyes lingering. 

 

“So, water, yes?” Zayn asked after a long moment, tilting her head to the side inquisitively. 

Liam nodded. “Water, right.” 

Zayn turned to leave the room and Liam followed, out into the hallway and down the stairs. 

 

Liam once again noticed the minimal decor of the house, a different world than the bedroom they’d just left. Zayn’s room looked so lived in, while the rest of the house seemed immaculate, untouched.

They passed the familiar foyer from last night, and Zayn led Liam into the kitchen. She followed her past stainless steel appliances and a wall of wide windows till they got to the fridge. 

Zayn gestured for Liam to take a seat at the counter, and Liam complied obediently as Zayn got a glass out of one of the cabinets.

 

“Ice?” Zayn turned to Liam inquisitively, arching her brows as if it were a major decision. “Ice,” Liam nodded, giggling. 

Zayn filled the glass and handed it to Liam, who drank eagerly. She had forgotten how thirsty she was, but now she was draining half the glass, relishing the cool water on her dry throat. 

Zayn leaned forward onto the counter facing Liam, her elbows resting on the cool marble. 

 

Liam finished off the water in a few cups, setting the empty glass down on the counter and fiddling with it uncomfortably. Her head still felt like lead, a reminder of her drunkenness the night before. 

“So,” she said, tracing her finger through condensation on the counter, “thanks for letting me crash here last night,” she said shyly, lifting her eyes to meet Zayn’s. 

“No problem,” Zayn shrugged, “last night was fun, better than getting high alone,” she added with a laugh. A smirk was back on her lips, but her eyes were soft.  

All Liam could remember from the roof was rambling on about Daniel, the taste of smoke and cherry bittersweet in her mouth. 

“I hope I didn’t do anything too embarrassing,” she added blushingly. She knew she was terrible at holding her liquor, and she was 2 for 2 on blacking herself out both times she drank. 

 

“You don’t remember anything?” Zayn asked hesitantly. 

Liam shook her head, embarrassed. “Not really, just sort of rambling.” 

Zayn looked at her thoughtfully for a few seconds, as if considering. 

“Nah, you didn’t do anything major,” she answered after a while, smiling at Liam. 

Liam nodded, relieved. But Zayn’s eyes were still on her, watching her curiously. 

 They were interrupted by the skittering of paws on tile floor and a series of loud and happy yaps from Georgia. The little bulldog came running into the room, beelining for Zayn and running circles around her legs. 

 

Zayn laughed and bent down to scoop the dog up, cradling her in her arms like a baby. 

“Somebody found us,” she said fondly, nuzzling her chin into the dogs soft grey fur. Georgia squirmed in Zayn’s arms, reaching up to lick Zayn’s cheeks and eliciting a yelp of surprise. 

 

“How long have you had her?” Liam inquired, smiling at the sight of Zayn cuddling the small dog. 

Zayn readjusted her in her arms, holding the puppy vertically so it was facing backwards over Zayn’s shoulder. 

“About a year,” Zayn answered, squirming as Georgia continued to lick at her. “My dad goes out of town for work a lot, so he bought me Georgia as a consolation prize I guess,” she explained with a laugh, but it sounded a little sad, too. 

“So does that mean you’re here alone a lot?” Liam asked tentatively, not wanting to pry if Zayn didn’t want to talk about it. 

 

But Zayn nodded amiably. “Yeah,” she shrugged, “but you get used to it.”

Liam nodded back, unsure of what to say. She glanced at the clock on the microwave, it was almost noon. 

Liam groaned.

“Whats wrong?” Zayn asked, following Liam’s gaze to the clock. 

“Nothing, my mom’s just probably going to kill me,” Liam said rolling her eyes. 

“Ah,” Zayn said, understanding. “Protective?” She inquired knowingly. 

“Insanely,” Liam affirmed with a sigh. 

“It’s nice that she cares about you though,” Zayn said with a shrug, nonchalant but with a hint of sadness. 

Liam thought of Zayn, alone in this big house. She wondered how often her dad was really around, where her mom was. She was sure Zayn could take care of herself, that much was clear, but it must get lonely sometimes. 

“I should probably go,” Liam said reluctantly, standing from the stool where she sat. Zayn nodded, taking Liam’s glass and setting it unceremoniously in the sink. 

“Thanks for dealing with my drunk ass,” Liam said as she followed Zayn back out into the foyer. “And thanks for listening,” she added more quietly, stopping to face Zayn as they stood by the front door. 

Zayn shrugged. 

“Im always down to get drunk and pissed off,” she snorted, but gave Liam a genuine smile. 

 

Liam said goodbye somewhat awkwardly, and made her way back out to her car. She gave the big house one last look before pulling away, thirsty, tired, and head spinning with thoughts of Zayn. 

 

 

As she had guessed, Liam’s mom was furious when she arrived home. 

“No phone call, not even a text message! And what on earth are you wearing??”

Liam had tried her best to brush off the questions without giving too much away, her mother’s shouting echoing in Liam’s already pounding head. 

She had finally appeased her with a story about sleeping over at Lou’s, wincing a little at the thought of Louis. 

Her mother placated, Liam had dragged herself up the stairs to sleep off her hangover, too tired to deal with Daniel or anything else. 

 

The rest of Liam’s weekend had passed with her mostly hanging around her room bouncing between _definitely not_ thinking about Daniel and _definitely not_ thinking about Louis and _definitely not_ thinking about maybe having a crush on Zayn. 

It was monday now, and Liam was at her locker when she heard a familiar voice behind her. 

“Hey babe,” Daniel said from behind her, leaning his arm against her locker and effectively pinning her up against it. 

 Liam sighed frustratedly, trembling a little. She had known this was coming, a confrontation she knew she had to have. But confrontation wasn’t in her nature, and she would have been just as happy to have never spoken to Daniel again. 

She grabbed her books and turned around, squirming awkwardly at his closeness. 

“Don’t call me that,” Liam said angrily, wrinkling her forehead up at Daniel. 

 

“Come on babe, you’re not still mad about this weekend are you?” He asked incredulously, as if she were the irrational one here. 

“Mad about you sleeping with my best friend? Yeah, actually I’m a little pissed off about that,” she answered sarcastically, glaring up at him. 

Daniel swiftly changed approaches, arranging his face into what Liam was sure was supposed to be a calculated look of penitence. 

“Baby, I’m sorry, I couldn’t fid you and I just missed you so much-” he started, his voice thick with mock sincerity. 

Liam snorted. “Missed me? I was at the party. But nice try.” 

“I was drunk,” Daniel explained, grasping for excuses. 

 

Liam took a deep breath, trying to ignore the tightness in her chest and trembling in her limbs. She put on her bravest face and looked Daniel dead in the eye. 

“I don’t want to see you anymore. I want you to leave me alone. I’m breaking up with you,” her voice only shook a little when she spoke, which she was proud of. 

Daniel was floundering to answer when Liam ducked under his arm and walked away down the hall. 

She was a few steps away when he finally spoke again, sounding amused. 

“You’ll be back, you can’t stay away from me. You’re too spineless to leave me for good,” he called arrogantly. 

 

Liam stopped for just a moment but didn’t turn around. Part of her knew he was right. And maybe there was a time when he would have forgiven him, would have forgiven Louis. But Liam was getting really fucking tired of being spineless, of pleasing people. So she kept walking, pissed off and angry, to her next class. 

 

Liam was anxious by the time lunch rolled around. It occurred to her as she was walking into the cafeteria that she had eaten lunch with the same group of people since middle school. A group that now included the last two people in the world she wants to be around right now. 

Her eyes landed briefly on her usual table, on the empty seat beside Louis. Louis made eye contact with Liam, forming her glossy lips into a puppy dog pout and gesturing for Liam to come join them. 

 

But Liam ignored her, scanning the room a little desperately for somewhere to sit. She saw Zayn, seated at a table with Harry, a girl she recognized but didn’t know well. 

Liam didn’t want to intrude, but she didn’t have many other options, and the longer she stood there the dumber she felt. 

So she made a quick decision, striding past her old table with more confidence than she felt. Her bravado faltered, however, the closer she got to the table. Liam hadn’t spoken to Zayn since saturday morning, and was unsure of how they had left things. She was pretty sure she could consider them friends now, but she still felt nervous as she approached the table. 

 

Zayn was turned away from Liam talking to Harry, but both turned as Liam approached. 

“Liam, hey” Zayn said with a smile, seemingly happy to see her. Liam relaxed a little at the warm greeting, returning it with one of her own. 

“Can I...” she asked somewhat awkwardly, gesturing with her tray towards the empty bench opposite Zayn and Harry. 

“Yeah, of course mate,” Zayn said, moving her tray a little to make room for Liam. Zayn was wearing a leather jacket, pulling it off in a way Liam knew she never could, and her black hair was pulled up into a messy topknot. 

 

“You know Harry, yeah?” Zayn said, tilting her head towards Harry at her side. 

“Yeah, sort of,” Liam said, giving Harry a small smile. 

 Harry had long, brown hair that fell in loose messy curls. She was gorgeous, not just because of her looks, but she was one of those people who was genuinely kind to everyone, outgoing and warm where Liam was often shy. 

They had gone to school together since freshman year, had been to a few of the same parties. Harry was friends with everyone, but for the most part she did her own thing. Liam wasn’t surprised she had befriended Zayn. 

“Hi Liam,” Harry greeted, her red mouth forming into a wide, friendly smile. 

 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Zayn said, reaching into her backpack. “You left your clothes at my house last weekend,” she explained, handing Liam’s folded up shirt and pants across the table. 

Liam saw Harry raise her eyebrows. “Clothes, eh?” Harry asked teasingly as Liam mumbled a small thank you and proceeded to shove her clothes into her own bag.

“She got drunk and crashed at my house,” Zayn explained, “I’m afraid it wasn’t quite as exciting as all that,” she finished, but she was smiling at Liam conspiratorially, like they were sharing a secret. It made Liam’s heart flutter completely irrationally. 

 

Just then, Niall plopped down into the seat beside Liam. 

“Hey,” she greeted, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for Liam to be sitting here instead of their usual table. 

“Hi Niall,” Liam said, surprised. Zayn and Harry were eyeing Niall curiously as well. 

But Niall seemed unfazed, flipping her straight blonde hair over her shoulder and tucking into her lunch. 

“I saw that you weren’t at the table - I don’t blame you after what happened last weekend - so I figured I’d join you over here,” Niall said nonchalantly in response to the quizzical looks Liam was giving her. 

 

“What happened last weekend?” Harry asked, tilting her head to one side. Zayn looked at Liam, silently asking for permission to share, but Niall beat her to it. 

“Liam caught her boyfriend fucking her best friend,” she explained casually before returning to her food. 

“That football guy?” Harry asked, and Liam nodded. “Wow, that’s terrible I’m sorry,” Harry continued, sounding genuinely concerned. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I mean, it does suck,” Liam shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. 

“I broke up with him this morning,” she continued, proud of herself. 

Zayn’s eyes perked up from her food at Liam’s words. “You did?” she asked.

Liam nodded, blushing a little. Zayn gave her a pleased smile. 

“Good for you!” Harry and Niall said in unison, which caused them both to grin and then giggle. 

 

“Yeah, that’s awesome,” Zayn agreed, her eyes still locked with Liam’s. 

“We should go out to celebrate!” Harry said excitedly, interrupting Liam and Zayn. 

“I second that, let’s go to a club,” Niall agreed, always ready for a party. 

Liam wasn’t surprised that Niall and Harry were getting on so well. They were both friendly and open, eager to have a good time. 

As Niall and Harry quickly fell into a chatter, planning when to go out and where to go, Zayn looked back a Liam. 

“What do you say?” she asked, cocking her head to one side. “Wanna celebrate?” 

She raised her eyebrows at Liam as if offering her a challenge. And Liam wasn’t going to back down now. 

“Absolutely,” she said, more confident than she felt. 

“Alright, let’s do it,” Zayn grinned back at her. 

Niall and Harry continued planning, and Liam felt unsettled in the absolute best way. 

 

 

They planned to go out that Friday night. Harry’s uncle apparently owned a club that he could get them into despite the fact that they were all underage. Zayn invited them all over to get ready at her house beforehand, and Niall said they could crash at her place. 

Liam told her mom she was spending the night at Niall’s which was true enough, and her mom was familiar enough with Niall’s name not to be suspicious. 

Liam was anxious and excited by the time Friday rolled around. She knew it wasn’t _that_ big of a deal, but she didn’t really do things like this, like, ever. She had never been to a club before, let alone with the intention of actually drinking. 

 

And if she was being honest with herself, she was excited to go with Zayn. 

They had eaten lunch together the rest of the week, along with Harry and Niall who had hit it off unexpectedly. While they bantered about music, (“You’re music is just sort of boring Harry, you can’t dance to it.” “The 1975 is _not_ boring.”) Zayn watched Liam under arched eyebrows, giving her looks Liam didn’t know how to interpret, sharing smiles over Harry’s slow stories. 

So by the time Friday night rolled around, Liam was buzzing. She pulled into the driveway at Zayn’s house and took a few deep breaths before walking up to the door. The sun was just setting, casting long shadows across the wide lawn. She was tingling, excited about the night to come. 

 

She rang the doorbell and waited a few moments before she heard a muffled “come in!” through the door. Liam pushed on the door and found it unlocked, opening it and stepping into the wide foyer. 

Zayn’s head appeared leaning out of her doorway. 

“Liam!” she called, smiling, “Come on up!”

Liam wandered up the familiar steps as Zayn disappeared back into her bedroom. 

When Liam got to Zayn’s room, she found Zayn in her underwear, in the middle of putting makeup on at the mirror. Niall was already there, sitting on Zayn’s bed plugging her ipod into Zayn’s speakers. 

 

“Liam!” Niall greeted as she entered, shouting over the top 40 that just started blasting through the room. 

Zayn turned to give Liam a conspiratorial smile over her shoulder, rolling her eyes fondly at Niall. Hair black hair was hanging long and messy down her back, and she was smiling at Liam and Liam thought it might be the greatest thing she’s ever seen. 

And then Zayn was turning away again, leaning into the mirror to put her eyeshadow on, and Liam was left with the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears. 

 

She set her purse down on the floor and joined Niall on the bed, who started running her hands through Liam’s hair, gathering it into a pile on top of her head. 

“Can I do your hair? What are you wearing?” Niall asked, getting up on her knees to get a better angle on Liam’s hair. 

“I’m not sure, I thought -” Liam started, but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell downstairs. 

“That’ll be Harry!” Niall said excitedly, releasing her old on Liam’s hair and climbing off the bed. “I’ll get it,” she added, bounding out of the room and down the stairs. 

 

Liam looked fondly after her, and was surprised when Zayn pounced onto the bed, still in her underwear. “Do you trust me?” Zayn asked cryptically, on all fours and leaning towards Liam. 

Liam wasn’t sure she could speak just then, Zayn was leaning into her space, giving her a mysterious smile. So she just nodded, her breath caught in her throat. 

“Good,” Zayn said, pleased, “because I know what you should wear.” 

With that, Zayn disappeared scampering off the bed and towards her closet. Liam followed her, wary. 

“I brought a dress, but...” she trailed off, picking over Zayn’s cluttered floor towards the closet. 

She could hear Zayn rooting through her closet, and when she entered Zayn had her back to Liam. 

When she turned around, she was brandishing a black skirt and a floral print something that Liam would definitely describe as a _bra_. Liam’s eyes went wide, and Zayn must have sensed how she was feeling because she shoved them more adamantly into Liam’s hands. 

“Come on, just try them on,” she pleaded, standing in front of Liam stubbornly. “It’ll look great on you. I don’t have the tits to pull it off, but...” Zayn trailed off, raising her eyebrows, and Liam blushed at the implication. 

 

“Here,” Zayn said, flipping on the closet light and walking back out into the room. “Just try them on, and if you don’t want to wear it you don’t have to.”

With that, she shut the closet door behind her, leaving Liam alone inside the closet to change. She could hear Niall and Harry coming back up the stairs, joining Zayn in the room. 

 Liam sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to get Zayn to give up without at least trying. She pulled off her jeans and top and then, reluctantly, her bra, and slid into the skirt and top fastening them both behind her. Okay, so the top was a little bit more than a bra, but it still exposed a good four inches of her stomach. 

She stalled for a few more seconds before stepping out into the room self consciously. Niall and Harry were taking selfies on the bed, and Zayn was still at the mirror, but all three turned when Liam stepped out of the closet. 

She wished she could see herself in a mirror, she had absolutely no idea how it looked on her. 

 

“What a babe, Li!” Niall called from the bed, and Harry gave a whistle of agreement. 

Zayn’s eyes went wide and then she smiled, taking Liam’s hand and dragging her towards the mirror. 

“I told you it would be perfect,” she said, positioning Liam in front of the mirror. 

Liam had to admit, she didn’t look terrible. The skirt was high waisted and circled her waist at its slimmest point, before twirling out to cover the tops of her thighs. She knew what Zayn meant about her chest, the cups of the top were filled out flatteringly. 

But she wasn’t used to showing this much skin, and she blushed a little at her reflection. 

 

“I don’t know,”she trailed off, unsure, but Zayn shook her head at her. 

She leaned in and placed her chin on Liam’s shoulder from where she stood behind her. 

“Come on, Li,” she dared, smiling wickedly. “Live a little.”

Niall and Harry cheered encouragingly from the bed until Liam finally sighed in resignation. 

“Fine,” she agreed, trying to sound petulant but smiling in spite of herself. 

 

Zayn grinned back at her, and Liam felt the familiar flutter in her stomach. The four girls finished getting ready until, a little after 8, they were all ready to go. Liam had let Niall style her hair, braiding part of it back and letting the rest of her loose waves hang down. Harry had on a pair of high waisted shorts, printed with flowers like a carpet bag, and a simple black top. She looked fantastic, her dark brown hair framing her face beautifully. Niall had opted for a black skirt and a plain white t shirt, rocking high tops and a snapback and somehow pulling it off. 

And Zayn. Wow. 

Liam thought her heart had stopped when she saw Zayn. She was wearing a black skirt that came up high on her waist, and a tight black leather top that showed off a few inches of her smooth stomach. It shouldn’t have worked, and Liam thinks it wouldn’t have on anyone but Zayn, but she looked incredible. 

Her black hair was piled high up on her head, showing off the curve of her neck. Her lips were dark red and she was gorgeous. 

 

They had decided on taking a cab to the club, since none of them wanted to be designated driver. Liam had offered, but they wouldn’t allow it. “You getting wasted is the entire reason we’re going out tonight,” Niall had reminded her cheerfully. 

So they piled into a cab, and Liam tried to ignore the way her thigh was pressed against Zayn’s in the crowded backseat. 

Whan they got there, Harry took them around back and they were in past the line in a couple of minutes. 

 

It was dark and crowded when they get inside, and Liam was instantly overwhelmed with it all. There were flashing lights spinning above her, and the music was pounding loud enough to drown out her own thoughts. 

She was taking it all in, wide-eyed, when she felt Zayn’s hand link with hers at her side. 

“Nervous?” Zayn asked, leaning in close to speak into Liam’s ear over the noise. 

“A little bit,” Liam admitted, hoping Zayn would keep her hand in Liam’s. 

“Well, come on,” Zayn said playfully, and began to lead Liam through the crowd to the bar. 

 

Niall and Harry trailed behind, and soon all four were lined up in front of the bar. 

“Shots?” Zayn asked, looking at Liam challengingly. 

Everything in Liam told her to say no, recalling the burning taste the last time she had done shots. But then she remembered why she was here, and nodded determinedly. 

Zayn laughed and ordered a round of tequila for them, and soon a small glass was sitting in front of Liam. 

 

Zayn picked her’s up and had it at her mouth when Harry appeared, brandishing her phone. 

“I wanna make a vine,” Harry explained excitedly. 

“Piss off,” Zayn said, rolling her eyes. “Ask Niall.”

Harry pouted but turned to Niall, and soon Harry was filming Niall’s shot excitedly. 

 

“Ready?” Zayn asked, lifting her glass again and waiting for Liam to do the same. 

Liam nodded and Zayn started counting down. She reached one and Liam lifted her glass, pouring the burning liquid down her throat and struggling to swallow as fast as she could. 

She hurried to suck on the lime and saw Zayn doing the same out of the corner of her eye, before moving on to salt. 

 

When Liam finished, she looked at Zayn with watery eyes and laughed. 

“Not so bad, huh?” Zayn teased, laughing and ordering another round. 

Liam laughed and wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know it was pretty bad!” she shouted over the roar of the club. 

But they did another round, and then another one, and another until the taste didn’t bother Liam so much and she felt like the music was pumping through her veins. 

 

Zayn pulled her onto the dance floor, laughing as Liam drunkenly stumbled after her. Liam didn’t know where Niall and Harry had gone, but she was with Zayn and that was enough for in her inebriated state. 

The lights were bright and hot and Zayn was close, dancing to the pounding music like she was electric. Their hands were intertwined as they danced, and Zayn slowly pulled Liam towards her until they were dancing nose to nose. 

Liam could feel Zayn’s body close, only a breath away from hers, grazing her in a way that was driving Liam crazy. She felt the urge to close the gap, but Zayn did before she could, grinding their bodies together. 

 

“Are you having fun?” Zayn shouted, her lips on Liam’s ear. 

“Yes!” Liam shouted back, relishing the way Zayn’s hands felt on her waist. Liam’s body was buzzing. 

Zayn’s smile flashed in the darkness and she pulled Liam closer, dancing to the rhythm. Liam didn’t know the song that was playing, but it didn’t matter. 

 

They had been dancing for a few songs when Zayn spoke up, leaning close to shout into Liam’s ear over the music. 

“Wanna get another drink?” she asked loudly, her lips barely brushing the shell of Liam’s ear. Liam nodded and let herself be led from the dance floor, back to the bar, Zayn’s hand tight in hers. 

Zayn looked wild, her eyes wide and excited, dark strands of loose hair barely starting to curl at her neck. She was excited and alive and full of an energy Liam wanted so badly to find in herself. 

“More shots?” Zayn suggested, “or we could get cocktails?”

“You pick!” Liam shouted back. 

“Hmm, I’ll get you a cosmo, you’ll like that,” Zayn said, sounded satisfied with her decision. 

 

Zayn was busy ordering from the bartender when Liam felt a tap on her shoulder. 

Surprised, she turned to find a man standing behind her smiling charmingly. He looked like he was a few years older than Liam, maybe college age, and had slightly curly brown hair.

Liam looked over at Zayn, a little lost. Zayn was giving the guy a sort of pissed off look for a few brief seconds, before her face cleared and she turned to take a long sip of her drink. 

 

“Hi,” Liam said after a moment, still drunk and sure she sounded like an idiot. 

“Hey,” he smiled back, amused. “I was wondering if you wanted to dance,” he continued, his eyes trailing up and down Liam’s body. 

 

“I, um-” Liam started, looking towards Zayn for help. 

“Go,” Zayn said, smiling at her and nudging her encouragingly with her knee. 

“Are you sure...” Liam asked hesitantly, remember Zayn’s expression just a few seconds ago. She wasn’t exactly eager to leave Zayn anyway. 

But Zayn just smiled and nodded. 

“Go have fun, I’ll be fine here,” she said, gesturing to her drink and lifting it in demonstration. 

Liam was skeptical but nodded anyway. If Zayn really wanted her to, she could at least give it a try. 

“Okay,” she finally answered, rising off her stool. The man took her hand and started leading her off into the crowd, much like Zayn had done before. She glanced behind her to find Zayn watching them go, flashing a thumbs up in Liam’s direction. 

 

Despite her misgivings, Liam loosened up once they were on the dance floor. He seemed nice enough, keeping a respectful distance between them, asking her questions about herself as they danced. 

But honestly, her mind was on Zayn the whole time. He was nice, but she couldn’t focus, thinking about an entirely different pair of hands on her waist. She was getting tired from the drinking, and she wanted Zayn. 

So, after two or three songs, she thanked the guy (Tom? Tim?) politely, and headed back through the crowd to find Zayn. 

 

When Liam finally got back to the bar though, Zayn’s seat was empty. Liam frowned, eyeing Zayn’s empty glass, and Liam’s beside it that Zayn had also apparently drained. 

Liam turned to scan the crowd, her eyes searching for Zayn’s black topknot sticking up above the crowd. 

 

She stumbled through the club, checking the dance floor and booths for Zayn. She found Harry and Niall, tangled up in a corner kissing. They parted when Liam approached, Harry wiping subtly at her lipstick. 

“What are you two-” she started to ask, but then shook her head. “Never mind, I don’t want to know,” she finished. She was too preoccupied with Zayn to worry about Niall and Harry just then. 

“Have you guys seen Zayn?” she asked hopefully. 

“Nah,” Niall answered simply, turning back to kiss Harry’s neck. Harry took a little more time with her answer. 

“I haven’t, is everything okay?” Harry asked, looking at Liam with concern. 

“Its fine, just don’t know where she went off to,” Liam brushed it off. 

Harry nodded, and Liam left she and Niall to resume their...activities. 

 

Liam continued through the club until she got to the bathroom in the back. 

“Zayn?” Liam knocked, opening the door when she didn’t get an answer. 

“Fuck off,” a man said gruffly over his shoulder, from where he had a girl pinned against the far wall, her legs around his waist. 

His pants were shoved low around his hips, and Liam blushed hot when she realized what was happening. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled, hurrying to get out of the bathroom as soon as possible. But then the girl lifted her head at the voice, and Liam was met with familiar dark eyes. 

“Li - fuck-”

 

Liam felt something inside her sinking, disappointment starting in her stomach and slowly spreading through her limbs. She hurriedly shut the door behind her, cutting off Zayn’s voice from inside the bathroom. 

Liam pushed her way through the crowd, wanting nothing more than to get out of the bar. The room felt suddenly too close and too hot, and she honestly thought she might be sick. She could hear Zayn’s voice somewhere in the crowed behind her, calling her name, but she ignored it. 

 

After what felt like an eternity, she finally pushed out of the sweaty room and into the cool night air, taking gulps of it into her burning lungs. A few moments later Zayn pushed after her, fixing her skirt and hair and looking distraught. 

“I’m sorry, Liam, I-” Zayn started, reaching forward to grab Liam’s forearm, but Liam pulled it out of her reach. 

“I don’t care, its fine,” she clipped out, brusque. She knew she was being childish, but she couldn’t help it. 

Zayn tried to continue her apology, giving Liam an explanation. 

“You left with that guy, and I was by myself at the bar - ”

“You _told_ me to go with him!” Liam retorted, angry. “And I didn’t fucking - do _that_ with him!” 

 

Zayn looked hurt and a little resigned, but Liam couldn’t bring herself to feel bad. 

She was angry and hurt, and she knew she wasn’t being fair but she could barely look at Zayn. Her stomach was still tied up in knots, sick.

“I - I know I fucked up,” Zayn breathed out. “I told you you didn’t want to be like me.”

She sat on the curb, sounding sad. Her eyes were on the ground. 

 

Liam furrowed her brow, confused. 

“When did you say that?”

“That night, at my house. You were drunk,” Zayn explained, her voice thick. “You said you wanted to be like me and I told you you didn’t.”

Liam frowned, she didn’t remember that at all. 

“And you kissed me,” Zayn continued, her eyes falling back to the ground. “You kissed me while you were drunk.”

 

And Liam definitely didn’t remember _that_. She thought back to that night, to getting shitfaced on Zayn’s roof and rambling about Daniel for a few hours. Before she could ask about it, Harry and Niall appeared standing beside them. 

“What happened?” Harry asked, concerned, “We saw you guys come out here, you looked really upset.” 

“It’s fine,” Liam said, not wanting to get into it with the other girls. 

“I just had too much to drink, needed some air,” Zayn piped up beside her, regaining her composure quickly.

Harry nodded sympathetically, and helped Zayn up off the curb. 

“It’s late, we should probably be getting home anyway. Are we still good to crash at your place, Ni?” Harry reasoned, turning towards Niall. 

Niall nodded, and the four girls caught a cab home. 

 

Niall and Harry took Niall’s bed, and Liam and Zayn made a nest on the floor with some extra blankets and pillows. They had all stripped down to their underwear and crawled into bed as soon as they got home, too worn out for anything but brushing their teeth. 

 

 Liam was pretty sure Niall and Harry were both asleep when she heard Zayn’s voice, small beside her. 

“You awake?”

 Liam turned over to find Zayn watching her in the darkness. She had washed off her sparkly makeup from the club and she looked tired, sad. 

“Yeah,” Liam said, turning fully to face Zayn. 

“Are you still mad at me?” Zayn asked quietly. 

 

Liam sighed. “Yeah,” she admitted. “Did I really kiss you that night?” 

It’s wasn’t the most pressing matter just then, but Liam hadn’t been able to get it off her mind since Zayn told her outside the club. 

Zayn nodded, and Liam’s heart fluttered a little. 

“Can you just - I mean, tonight, you - ” Liam started, trying to keep her voice even. 

 

Zayn closed her eyes for a minute. She opened them again and took a deep breath. 

“When I said you don’t want to be like me, I meant it,” Zayn started, leaning closer to Liam as she whispered. 

“I’m fucked up. My head is a mess, all the time. I’m - I make bad decisions. I’m a mess, really,” she continued, looking down. “I - my mom left when I was really little. My dad he’s - gone a lot. Doesn’t really care much what I do,” she laughed a little, but it sounded sad, bitter. 

“It’s not an excuse. I’m not trying to say that’s why I’m fucked up, but it matters, I think.”

Liam thought back to the big empty house, of Zayn staying there all alone. 

 

“I just - tonight, that wasn’t the first time something like that has happened,” she sounded ashamed as she spoke, not meeting Liam’s eyes anymore. 

“It’s like its the only way I know how to get out of my own head. I go too far. Sometimes I go _way_ too far. You said you wanted to be like me, honestly I wish I were more like you. You’re so sweet. Things make sense for you,” Zayn finished, finally looking up at Liam. 

 

Liam had softened at Zayn’s explanation, but her last words made Liam angry. 

“You don’t - I’m not just sweet,” she started frustratedly, the pent up frustration of 18 years spilling out of her.

 “Things _don’t_ make sense for me. People expect so many things from me, expect me to be perfect. Perfect daughter, perfect swimmer, perfect student, perfect fucking girlfriend. They expect it from me but they don’t actually take me seriously. I get angry and no one listens. I get sad and they brush it off. They just expect me to be sweet, spineless Liam,” she huffed out. Zayn was watching her tirade with interest, eyes wide in the darkness.

“I just want - I want to be able to make my own decisions! I want to be able to do stupid things and not be so scared all the time. I just want people to like me for who I am, instead of what they want me to be. And I don’t even know what that fucking is, but. Things aren’t perfect for me either. And you’re so much braver than me. ”

She looked at Zayn pleadingly, willing her to understand. “Can’t you see how amazing you are?” Her pulse was racing in her ears, her hands shaking a little. 

 

Zayn’s eyes searched hers for a long moment. 

“You’re too afraid to start, and I’m too afraid to stop,” she said softly, a small laugh escaping her lips. “What a pair we make.”

Liam thought, realizing the truth of her statement. 

“Well then maybe we can balance each other out,” she offered, giving Zayn a small smile. 

 

And then Zayn was leaning in, pressing her lips soft and warm against Liam’s. Liam pressed back, too tired and too full of _want_ to be embarrassed. Zayn exhaled softly as they kissed, a sigh that thrilled Liam just a little. 

 The kiss lingered until Zayn pulled back, resting her forehead against Liam’s. 

“There’s your chaos,” Zayn said after a moment, looking at Liam like she was really seeing her. 

“What?” Liam asked, confused. 

“On the roof, you told me I was chaos,” Zayn explained, smiling. “I told you you were too, and I don’t think you believed me at the time. But there you are,” Zayn finished, looking at Liam as if it all made sense. 

And Liam thought she understood. 

 

They kissed for a long time like that, curled together under the covers on Niall’s floor. Zayn’s lips were soft and sweet and tasted like toothpaste and her hands were warm on her back, on her sides, on her stomach. They slept after a while, Zayn’s head tucked into the curve of Liam’s neck, her lips pressed against Liam’s skin as they fell asleep. 

 

 

 

They had both slept through most of saturday after Niall dropped them off at their houses that morning, Zayn whispering in Liam’s ear that she would call her that night. 

She had, and the next night, and the next, and now Liam was lying on her bed talking to Zayn on the phone, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling.

 

Liam liked talking on the phone with Zayn, liked the way her voice sounded on the other end of the line. And she liked getting to know her, the real her. They had both opened up a lot since friday night, and Zayn was full of surprises. 

 

Zayn talked about missing her dad, not wanting to miss her dad. About missing her mom, but wanting to miss her mom even less. She knew it wasn’t easy for Zayn to open up to people, and she was flattered that she had somehow made the cut. She liked their meaningless conversations too, like the one they were having now.  

 

“Hmm,” Liam hummed into the phone, considering. “Favorite food?”

Zayn thought for a few moments before answering. 

“Pizza. Definitely Pizza. You?” 

“Chinese food, hands down,” Liam answered, seriously. 

“Come on, you can’t choose an entire _type_ of food,” Zayn chided, laughing. 

“Can so,” Liam insisted, giggling into the phone. 

“Fine,” Zayn conceded with a dramatic sigh, but Liam could hear the smile in her voice.

As much as Zayn liked to brood, she liked to laugh even more, a surprising fact Liam had discovered over the past few days. 

 

“So,” Liam said, dragging out the “o.” 

“So?” Zayn asked, urging Liam to continue. 

“I think we should go out. Like, on a date?” Liam suggested tentatively. Liam laughed at herself for being nervous, but it was _Zayn_ , and at this point Liam still didn’t know if that fact was comforting or intimidating. 

“A date?” Zayn repeated, somewhat teasingly. 

“Hmmhm,” Liam confirmed, a little embarrassed into the phone. 

 

If she was being honest with herself, Liam was new to all this. Daniel was the first guy she had dated seriously, and they had been together since they were fifteen. 

Liam didn’t know how to proceed with Zayn, didn’t know the protocol. But a date seemed like a good place to start. 

 

“Yeah, okay, what did you have in mind?” Zayn said, humoring Liam. 

“I have a few ideas...but is there anything you want to do?” Liam said, rolling over onto her stomach on the bed, cradling the phone between her head and shoulder. 

Zayn hummed for a moment, considering. 

“Actually,” she said a few seconds later, “I do have something in mind. When is this date happening?”

“Whenever,” Liam answered, “Tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow sounds good,” Zayn agreed. It sounded like she was smiling. 

“Tomorrow,” Liam said, and she couldn’t help but smile back. 

 

Liam was buzzing when she pulled up outside of Zayn’s house the next day. She was surprised when Zayn was already waiting outside, sitting on the steps of her front porch. 

She stood and walked towards the car as Liam approached, flashing Liam a grin. 

She had on a pair of black jeans that were ripped at the knee, a loose white tank top and a red beanie pulled down over her long black hair. 

To Liam’s surprise, Zayn didn’t get in on the passenger’s side but instead walked over to Liam’s side of the car. She leaned in, resting her elbows on the car door. 

“Well hi,” Liam said, confused. 

“Hi, so, here’s how this is going to work,” Zayn explained, smiling mischievously. She seemed excited, breaking out of her normally stoic state. 

“You’re going to sit in the passenger seat, blindfolded, and I’m gonna drive. Deal?” 

Liam groaned but agreed reluctantly, getting out of the car and handing the keys to Zayn. 

Liam settled into the passenger seat, the blindfold secure over her eyes. She could hear Zayn moving around, opening and shutting doors before finally climbing into the car and starting the engine. 

 

“Excited?” she asked, one of her hands barely grazing Liam’s knee. 

“Um, also a little terrified,” Liam admitted. She didn’t like not knowing where they were going, but it was a little bit thrilling. 

“Aw, come on, it’ll be fun,” Zayn reassured, pulling the car out of Zayn’s driveway. 

Liam heard her fiddle with the radio, adjusting it to her favorite station before setting off down the street. 

Liam tried to keep track of where they were going before finally giving up and enjoying the ride. Zayn was buzzing in the drivers seat, chattering more than usual and making Liam laugh. 

 

After about ten minutes, the car slowed and finally came to a stop. 

“Okay take it off....now!” Zayn said, and Liam lifted her hands to the blindfold covering her face. 

When she took it off she saw what looked like a cement parking lot, but when she looked closer she saw the ramps, people skating around and grinding on metal rails. 

They were at the skate park. 

 

“So...?” Zayn said expectantly, “What do you think?”

“I think I’m probably going to fall and die,” Liam said honestly, laughing. She had never skateboarded before, but she could only assume she was terrible at it. She was athletic in the water, not so much on land.

“Don’t worry, we’ll start slow,” she assured Liam, climbing out of the car and reaching into the backseat. She pulled out her board, which she must have stowed there while Liam was waiting blindfolded. 

 

Liam was honestly nervous, she had never tried anything like this before. But she trusted Zayn. 

Zayn led her over to an empty corner of the park, a small expanse of cement bordered by a rail and a half pipe. It was a warm day, the sun glaring over them and making Liam glad she had worn shorts and a t shirt.

“Okay,” Zayn said, setting the boards on the ground and swinging her backpack off. “I came prepared,” she continued, reaching into the backpack and proudly pulling out what looked like knee pads. 

She gestured Liam over and Liam followed obediently, standing next to where Zayn was crouched on the ground. 

“Safety first,” Zayn smirked, reaching to fasten the pads around Liam’s legs. She leaned in to press a small kiss against the skin of Liam’s thigh, brushing her nose along the hem of Liam’s denim shorts. 

Liam blushed, but smiled down at Zayn. She still wasn’t sure how much she could touch, how much they were allowed from each other. Didn’t know how to figure it out, didn’t know how to ask for more. 

 

Once Liam was safely decked out in knee pads, elbow pads, and even a helmet (which she had complained about but Zayn wouldn’t budge,) it was time to start skating. 

Liam stood unsteadily on the skateboard, Zayn’s hands holding both her own. 

“Don’t let go, okay?” she breathed out, semi panicked, as the board started rolling slowly forward. 

Zayn laughed, walking alongside the board, carefully steadying Liam. 

“Not until you’re ready,” she qualified ominously. 

Liam groaned but held on tight, letting Zayn lead her around the skate park. 

 

One fall (“that’s what the elbow pads are for!”), two falls (“thats what the _knee_ pads are for!”), and exactly one crash landing later (“why aren’t there butt pads?”), Liam was skating in semi - straight lines on her own. 

She was still wobbly, but Zayn seemed proud of her progress. She cheered and clapped when Liam made her first successful trip between two rails, unaccompanied. 

“See? You’re a natural!” she cooed, teasingly poking Liam in the stomach. 

Liam rolled her eyes, but was pleased anyway. 

 

“I think you should try the half pipe,” Zayn suggested solemnly, as if dishing out serious life advice. 

Liam blanched. “I don’t think I’m ready for that...” she protested, but Zayn just nodded, a devilish smile growing on her face. 

“Just the small one! You just start at the top, then roll back and forth for a bit. That’s all there is to it,” she assured Liam, gesturing to the smallest ramp in their corner of the park. It was about six feet high, but it looked foreboding to Liam. 

Liam was unconvinced, but followed Zayn obediently over to the ramp, climbing up to the top with ease. 

 

She blanched as she looked down, her confidence wavering. It looked much higher up here than it had from the ground, and she was shaking a little at the thought. 

“Hey,” Zayn said, pulling Liam close and pressing their foreheads together. “I won’t make you if you don’t want to. But you wanted to be brave, right?” 

She didn’t sound like she was challenging Liam, just offering her the opportunity. And she was right, Liam did want to be brave, wanted to be reckless for once. 

“Okay,” Liam agreed, nodding tentatively. 

“Yeah?” Zayn confirmed, sounding excited. “Okay, come on,” 

 

Zayn helped Liam get lined up, perching her board on the edge of the ramp precariously. 

Just before she went, Zayn leaned in to give her a kiss, pressing their lips together for a brief moment before pulling back. 

“Okay, go!” Zayn shouted, stepping back and releasing her hold on Liam. 

Liam took a deep breath and tipped her weight just enough to start rolling down the ramp. 

It was terrifying. It was honestly terrifying, and Liam felt like she was going a million miles an hour. The short ramp felt like an eternity and her stomach was doing that thing it does when you go on splash mountain, like the bottom was falling out of it. 

But then she was at the bottom, rolling shallowly up towards the top, and then back down. 

She continued to roll back and forth a few times, and when the board finally slowed down she was shaking. 

“Li,” Zayn said, sounding worried from the top of the ramp. “You okay?”

 

Liam took a deep breath, stepping off the board and looking up at Zayn where she stood a few feet above her. 

The sun was getting low, and Zayn was silhouetted against the fading light. 

She was gorgeous. 

“Never better,” Liam finally answered, her laugh coming out a little bit hysterical. She felt like she was still coming down from an adrenaline high, and the ramp, and Zayn, was combining to make her almost giddy. 

 

“See, I told you it would be fine,” Zayn teased as they made their way over to their spot on the grass. 

“It wasn’t so bad,” Liam grinned, peeling off her pads and flopping down onto the grass near the edge of the park. 

She watched Zayn skate for awhile, which put Liam’s pathetic efforts to absolute shame. Zayn was good, like _really_ good. She was grinding on rails, doing tricks on half pipes. She looked like she was in her element, her face serene as she rolled across the pavement. The setting sun made the skate park sort of beautiful. The ramps and rails cast long shadows in the low sun, as did the few riders that were left.

It felt good, to be there, watching Zayn skate. Liam smiled fondly at her, content and quietly pleased that things had worked out the way they had. 

 

A whilte later Zayn joined her in the grass, leaning onto her side so she was facing Liam.

“You’re fantastic,” Liam said, impressed, nodding towards the skatepark.  

“ _You_ were great,” Zayn teased, a bit out of breath, leaning down to kiss Liam’s nose. Liam giggled, tilting her head up to kiss Zayn’s lips instead. 

“I think,” Liam said, between kisses, “we should do something _I_ like to do now,” she bargained. 

“Hmm,” Zayn said, leaning into the kiss. “And what might that be?”

“You’ll see,” Liam said, pushing Zayn away abruptly and walking teasingly towards the car, beckoning Zayn to follow. 

 

They gathered up the pads and Zayn’s skateboards, and loaded them into the car. 

This time, Liam sat in the driver’s seat, with Zayn blindfolded at her side. 

“Am I going to like this?” Zayn asked, making a disgruntled noise when Liam changed the radio station back to her favorite. 

Liam hummed noncommittally at the question, not giving anything away. 

A few minutes later they pulled up outside the community pool. The sun had just set, and it was Liam’s favorite time to swim. It was still warm for the year, and Liam knew the water would be just right. 

 

Zayn took off the blindfold and looked at Liam with something like fear in her eyes when she read the sign. 

“I dont...” she started but Liam shook her head. 

“It’s fine, just come on,” she said, climbing out of the car. Zayn followed, but she still looked wary. 

 

The pool was closed for the night, but they climbed the fenced as Liam had done a thousand times before. 

“Liam Payne? Climbing fences?” Zayn had teased, making Liam blush as they dropped over the other side. 

Liam pulled her shirt over her head and slid off her shorts, stripping down to her bra and underwear. Zayn raised her eyebrows but did the same, and Liam couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful Zayn looked. The dusky light just barely illuminated her skin, outlining her in shadows. 

Liam let her eyes linger for a moment longer before she turned, to face the pool.

She dove in, pulling up just before she grazed the bottom of the shallow end,  letting the cool water slide over her body. 

She was in her element here, and she loved it. Like Zayn with skating, this was how she liked to move, where she felt the most herself. 

 

After letting herself linger underwater, Liam surfaced, wiping water from her eyes and slicking her hair back with both hands. Zayn sat the edge of the pool, dangling her feet in the water and eyeing it suspiciously. 

“Li,” she said quietly, and Liam thought it was the first time she had heard Zayn sound scared. Except for that night at the club, she had never been anything but a picture of confidence. Liam knew it was a privilege to see her in this vulnerable state. 

 

“It’s shallow,” Liam assured her. “I’m standing right now,” she added. And she was. The water rose to just below her shoulders, strands of her hair floating around her. 

Zayn looked unconvinced, wrapping her arms around her exposed waist as if she were cold. 

“Do I need to give you an incentive?” Liam asked, smiling at Zayn as a thought occurred to her. 

Zayn looked confused, cocking her head to one side. 

“What do you mean?” she asked skeptically. 

 

Liam reached behind her and undid the hook on her bra, sliding the straps down her arms and pulling it off her body. She threw it to the side of the pool where it hit the concrete with a wet slap. 

She raised her eyebrows as she did the same with her underwear, sliding her legs out and tossing it to the side with her bra. 

Her hands shook a little under her facade of confidence. She had never done anything like this before, but it was thrilling. 

 

Zayn raised her eyebrows back, but her eyes were wide. 

“Liam, have I corrupted you more than I thought?” she teased, sounding impressed from the side of the pool. 

Liam shrugged. “Maybe I was was just waiting to be corrupted,” she offered, smiling back at Zayn. 

 

“Well, you’ve certainly upped the ante,” Zayn admitted, but she still sounded wary about entering the water. 

“Do you trust me?” Liam asked, looking Zayn in the eyes. “You say that to me all the time. I’m asking you now. Do you trust me?”

Zayn seemed to consider for a moment, looking at the water, at Liam. She finally stood.

“Yeah, I do,” she nodded shakily. She turned her back to Liam, slipping out of her bra and underwear, leaving them on the side with the rest of her clothes.

 

Liam watched the smooth bareness of her body, the way her muscles moved beneath her skin, the dark ink trailing in smoky lines around her body. She was beautiful, it made Liam’s heart race. She blushed, trying to keep from staring. 

Zayn turned and made her way to the pool steps, uncharacteristically shy as she entered the water. 

She shivered a little as she stepped in, wading tentatively towards Liam’ until the water was lapping just above her breasts, until her hair was floating in a black fan around her. 

 

“Happy?” she asked Liam sarcastically, trying for bravado but failing miserably. Her voice shook, and she reached out for Liam as soon as she was close enough to. 

“Yeah,” Liam said quietly. Zayn’s hands were vicelike on hers, like she would sink if she weren’t holding onto Liam despite the shallowness of the water. She pulled Zayn close, until they were face to face. 

It was this that Liam had wanted, this moment she had wanted to share with Zayn. The light was almost gone now, and Liam could almost feel Zayn’s body close to hers in the water, radiating heat through the cool current. 

The moment felt fragile, thrilling and dangerous. This was all so new to Liam, such uncharted territory. But Zayn felt so familiar sometimes, and it was enough to calm Liam’s burning nerves. 

 

Liam leaned forward, but instead of kissing Zayn’s mouth she pressed her lips lightly against the corner of Zayn’s eye, just below her brow. Zayn closed her eyes at the touch, and Liam heard her hum softly. 

Liam repeated the action, kissing her cheek, the corner of her mouth, the soft spot just below her ear. Zayn stood patiently, trembling softly under Liam’s lips but doing nothing to change her course, nothing to speed her up or to inquire what Liam was doing. 

“Yeah, I’m happy,” Liam finally whispered, her lips close to Zayn’s ear. She was blushing as soon as she said it, wanting to pull back, wanting to crawl inside herself and run away from everything she was feeling. But another part of her, a bigger part, never wanted to leave the water, never wanted to be further away from Zayn than she was right now. 

Zayn opened her eyes at Liam’s words, watching her carefully for a moment before leaning in to press their lips together. 

 

It started carefully, movements slowed by the cool water around them. Zayn was just an outline in the darkness, a pair of soft hands and soft lips on Liam’s skin. 

Her hands slid over Liam’s back and up her sides as they kissed, goosebumps rising under her touch. Zayn’s hands faltered just under Liam’s breasts, her thumb stroking the soft undercurve hesitantly. 

“Is this okay?” Zayn asked softly, not wanting to break the moment. 

“Yeah,” Liam whispered somewhat breathlessly, sighing as Zayn’s hands rose to cup her tits. 

Its not that Liam hadn’t done this before, she had, with Daniel. But it had never felt like this, everything felt so new with Zayn, so unprecedented but so wonderful. 

She shivered as Zayn’s hand’s slid over her body under the cool water, one of them thumbing over her nipple while the other slid down her side and around her hips. 

Liam brought her hands up trembling to circle the small curve of Zayn’s waist, their skin slippery under the water. 

Liam’s entire body wa tingling, a heat pooling within her that made her want to rut against Zayn when their legs tangle together under the water. They were pressed flush together now, and Zayn’s nipples were pricking hard against Liam in the cool water. 

 

Liam pulled away but kept them close together, resting her forehead against Zayn’s.

“I guess swimming isn’t so bad,” Zayn whispered, and her voice sounded thick and low and so close to Liam. She was intoxicating, taking up space around Liam, inside her head and around her. She was everything. 

They stayed like that for a while. They kissed until their fingers were pruny and they both had goosebumps rising up and down their arms from the chilly water. 

 

Liam swam a few lazy strokes through the dark water, while Zayn waited patiently in the shallow end. She even got Zayn to laugh a few times, splashing her and swimming past to tickle her under the water. 

It was colder by now, and Liam could see Zayn starting to shiver. She swam to her under the water, not surfacing till she was immediately in front of Zayn. 

“Hi,” Liam said, somewhere between a giggle and a shiver. 

“Hi,” Zayn whispered back, leaning in to place a kiss at the junction of Liam’s neck and shoulder. “Wanna get out of here?” 

Liam shuddered, the warmth of Zayn’s lips contrasting the cool water and the chilly night air. 

Liam nodded, and they both waded to the edge of the pool

 

It was slightly awkward after, or at least it felt like it to Liam. Neither of them had towels, goosebumps rising as they pulled their clothes on over their wet bodies. Their hair was dripping, and Zayn laughed as she wrung it out onto the wet concrete of the pool deck. 

Zayn’s laugh was nice, and the way she looked at Liam had her forgetting the awkwardness. 

Zayn’s white tank top was clinging to her body obscenely, and Liam saw Zayn’s eyes grazing her as well. 

 

They were both giggly as they made their way to the car, a tension in the air neither of them quite know how to name. Liam felt apprehension and excitement settling inside her, quivering in her hands as she held the steering wheel. The drive to Zayn’s felt long, but sort of perfect. 

Zayn was playing with the radio, twisting dials until a song Liam hadn’t heard started playing. It was quiet, but in a good way, and Zayn felt so close to Liam in the passenger’s seat. 

It was one of those drives where the car feels like its own little world, a world Liam was more than happy to be sharing with Zayn. It was peaceful. 

 

Zayn’s street was quiet when they pulled up, the lights in her house off. 

“Is your dad-” Liam started, but Zayn shook her head before Liam could finish. 

“He’s away again,” she answered, but she didn’t sound disappointed about it this time. 

 

Zayn’s house was dark when they entered, and Liam followed Zayn up the shadowy staircase to her room. 

Zayn reached down to plug in the Christmas lights when the got there, giving the room a dim, warm, glow, before leaning over to pin Liam up against the door. 

Her lips were still slow, but more urgent than the kisses they had shared in the pool. A boil instead of a simmer, but still a slow burn. 

Liam kissed back, sliding her hands across Zayn’s back, feeling the slide of her wet shirt on her skin. 

Zayn shivered, a reminder that they were both still soaking. 

 

“Let’s get out of these wet clothes,” she suggested, pulling back just enough to peel off her wet shirt, reaching down for the button of her jeans. 

Liam followed suit, but hesitated when she got down to her bra and underwear. They had been naked in the pool, sure, but that had been different. Obscured by the dark water and caught up in the rush, Liam had felt emboldened. Now she felt more anxious, nervous about baring it all. 

 

Zayn, sensing her discomfort, stopped, standing before Liam in only her wet underwear. 

“Hey, we don’t have to do anything,” she assured Liam. “I can just give you a pair of sweats or something and we can go to sleep,” she added. 

She started towards her closet but Liam stopped her, reaching a hand out to loop around Zayn’s slim wrist. 

“Wait, I- I want to,” Liam said, unsure of how to explain. “I want to, I’m just...nervous.” She looked up at Zayn, willing her to understand.

“Are you a virgin?” Zayn asked kindly, not judging but genuinely interested.

Liam shook her head.

“No, Daniel and I, we did. But he’s the only one,” she confided, aware of how lame she sounded. 

 

 But Zayn just pulled her close, till they were nose to nose under the Christmas lights. 

“We can go as slowly as you want, okay?” she whispered soothingly, rubbing her thumbs into Liam’s hips. 

Liam nodded and they kissed again, this time Zayn walked them backwards until Liam’s knees hit the edge of the bed. 

Taking Zayn’s cues, she fell backwards, Zayn falling down after her, bracing her arms around Liam’s head.

They kept kissing as they scrambled up the bed, until Liam felt the softness of Zayn’s pillows beneath her head. 

 

Liam reached behind her to undo the clip of her bra, sliding it off and letting it drop to the floor beside Zayn’s bed. 

Zayn leaned down, keeping here eyes on Liam’s, silently asking for permission, and pressed her lips to the top of Liam’s chest. 

Liam nodded at her to continue, and Zayn’s lips trailed downward. She sucked one of Liam’s nipples into her mouth, swirling around the already hardened nub. Liam’s breath hitched, embarrassingly, at the way Zayn’s mouth felt on the sensitive skin. 

 

They kissed like that for a while, Liam loving the feeling of Zayn against her, of her tits under Liam’s hand. Zayn kissed over Liam’s neck and chest, sucking dark marks into Liam’s fair skin. 

It was that familiar thrill of unfamiliarity, the newness of Zayn combined with the way she felt so good, so comfortable pressed close against Liam. 

Her skin was warm and soft beneath Liam’s fingertips, and Liam was comforted by the fact that Zayn’s breathing was growing equally ragged. 

 

Zayn’s hand trailed down Liam’s chest, pausing to squeeze playfully at her breasts, before sliding down into Liam’s panties. 

“This okay?” she whispered against Liam’s mouth, between kisses. 

“Yeah,” Liam breathed out shakily, and Zayn’s hand began moving, fingers rubbing at Liam’s clit. 

“Fuck,” Liam moaned at the feeling, her hips bucking up into Zayn’s hand. Zayn’s mouth swallowed Liam’s soft noises, her short breaths and quiet moans. 

 

After a few minutes Zayn’s mouth followed her hand, trailing down Liam’s chest softly until she reached her hips.

She shuffled around until she was situated between Liam’s legs, fingers slipping into Liam’s waistband. 

“You and Daniel - you did this right?” she asked, her hands pausing when she didn’t get an answer right away. She looked up at Liam inquisitively. 

Liam shook her head, sort of embarrassed.

“It just never really...came up,” she offered, lamely. 

 

 Daniel hadn’t ever tried it and Liam wasn’t going to suggest it, so it had never happened. 

“Wow, he really was a dick,” Zayn responded, her nose wrinkling with annoyance as she said it. 

She leaned back up from where she kneeled at Liam’s thighs to kiss her, Liam leaning up into the kiss eagerly.

“Do you want to try it?” she whispered against Liam’s lips like a secret. “We don’t have to, but I think you’ll like it,” she continued, and Liam felt like she could barely breathe. 

 

Liam nodded. “Yeah,” she breathed out, “yeah, okay.” 

Zayn smiled at her and kissed her one more time before returning to her spot and slipping Liam’s underwear down her thighs. 

Liam willed herself not to be embarrassed at that, at how exposed she was. 

But then Zayn started touching her, and she lost the ability to think. 

 

She started slowly, kissing at the tops of Liam’s thighs with warm, wet lips. Zayn’s hands wandered between her legs and slid them open slowly, taking long, broad licks at Liam’s pussy, driving Liam crazy. 

She thought she was going to die when she finally felt Zayn’s tongue, sliding to lap at her clit gently. 

Zayn flicked it back and forth with the point of her tongue, her hands sliding around to cup at Liam’s ass.

 If Liam weren’t busy trying not to fall apart, she would be admiring Zayn, because she really looked incredible like this. The Christmas lights gave off just enough light, just enough to illuminate Zayn’s skin, casting shadows across her body as she pressed slow kisses to Liam’s clit. 

Liam’s train of thought was broken when Zayn sucked on her clit lightly, rolling it between her lips softly. 

She licked down, working slowly until her tongue was pressing into Liam’s cunt. She worked it in and out, and Liam let an embarrassingly loud moan escape her lips. 

 

Zayn stopped for a moment at that, smiling up at Liam with spit-shiny lips. It was only a moment, and then she bowed her head again, working her tongue against Liam’s nub.  
She brought her fingers up and slowly slid inside Liam, keeping her mouth on Liam’s clit. 

Liam could feel herself close, on the brink of orgasm. Zayn’s fingers sped up, fucking in and out of Liam, and she sucked her clit between her lips again, pushing Liam over the edge. 

“Oh, fuck, Zayn,” Liam choked out, her hips thrusting slightly as she came. Zayn worked her through it, licking at her soothingly as Liam came around her fingers. 

 

 

Liam’s bones were jelly. She didn’t think she had ever come so hard in her life. Zayn crawled back up the bed and flopped down onto the mattress next to Liam, her breathing heavy. 

She leaned down over Liam and pulled her into a messy kiss. Liam could taste herself on Zayn’s tongue, unusual but not unpleasant. 

 

“Fuck,” Liam breathed out after a moment, unsure she could even move yet. Her arms were flopped carelessly over her head, and she didn’t even have enough energy to notice she was still lying there, exposed. 

“You’re cute when you swear,” Zayn giggled, looking proud at Liam’s fucked out state. 

They kissed again, and after a moment Zayn slid her hand down to touch herself, her arm moving against Liam. 

Liam let her eyes trail down, watching with fascination at Zayn’s hand disappearing into her underwear. Maybe she was still blissed out and maybe she would be embarrassed about this later, but she wanted to be a part of it. 

 

“Can I-?” Liam asked tentatively, her voice still breathless. She slid her hand down Zayn’s arm, hoping her intent would be clear. 

“Y-Yeah,” Zayn stuttered out, moving so her hand could be replaced with Liam’s. Liam didn’t really know what she was doing, had never touched herself that way, but she had the general idea. 

Her fingers slid against Zayn’s hot skin, down to where she hoped her clit was. 

“That’s it, right there,” Zayn confirmed, placing her hand gently over Liam’s moving them together. 

 

Liam was fascinated watching Zayn fall apart beside her, watching her hips buck against their hands, watching sweat shining on her slick skin. 

“Li, I’m close,” Zayn breathed against the skin at Liam’s neck. Liam leaned down to press her lips against Zayn’s shoulder, kissing over to her neck and sucking on the hot skin there. 

Zayn sped up their hands, and Liam, taking Zayn’s cues, moved her fingers down and pressed them into the warm wetness of Zan’s cunt. 

After that, it was only a few moments before Zayn was bucking her hips and tightening around Liam’s fingers, breathing out an unbelievably sexy stream of profanities. 

 

They kissed lazily, both exhausted and fucked out, curled up together on Zayn’s bed. Liam couldn’t get over how gorgeous Zayn looked under the glow of the lights, casting red and yellow shadows over her body, her long eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks. 

She pulled Liam close, till they were nose to nose, both laying on their sides on Zayn’s pillow. Their legs were tangled together between them, and Zayn’s hands were gliding up and down Liam’s back softly. 

 

“I liked that,” Liam said softly, blushing and lowering her eyes. 

“Good, so did I,” Zayn whispered back cheekily, rubbing their noses together. 

 

Liam told her mom she was staying at Niall’s, and woke up for the second time in her life in Zayn’s bed. 

This time, they were curled together, a pile of bare skin and messy hair and Liam smiled when her eyes fluttered open. 

Zayn groaned and stretched in her arms, waking slowly. 

“Hey,” Zayn croaked groggily, curling further into Liam’s warmth. 

“Hey,” Liam whispered back, and she didn’t think she’d ever been happier. 

 

EPILOGUE

 

Liam waited nervously at the bottom of the stairs nervously, fiddling with her hair. It was up in braids around her head, with a gravity-defying amount of hairspray and bobby pins holding it together. Her mom had fussed before she had let Liam leave the house, making sure not a hair was out of place. 

Zayn’s dad was waiting a few feet away, leaning casually agains the bannister with his camera in hand. He was home for a rare weekend, and it was only the second or third time Liam had met him. 

He was always nice, but she still got nervous when she saw him, as if he would starting asking her questions about she and Zayn’s sex life or something. 

 

He looked at his watch, rolling his eyes before shouting up the stairs. 

“Come on Zayn, you two are going to be late,” he called, an exasperated tone in his voice. 

“I’m coming, it takes a long time to look this good,” Zayn shouted back from her bedroom, and Liam smiled at the typical _Zayn-_ ness. 

A few minutes later, Zayn emerged at the top of the stairs, and Liam thought her heart was going to stop. 

 

Zayn’s hair was down in long, loose curls, one side pinned back with a sparkly clip. Her dress was black, long and strapless. It hugged her chest and the fell straight down, just barely hugging her body as she walked. 

She grinned cheekily at Liam from the top of the stairs, but Liam could see a faint blush in her cheeks as well.

She walked down the stairs slowly, stopping to stand in front of Liam when she reached the bottom. 

 

“We’ll be the best looking couple there,” she teased, nudging Liam slightly with her elbow. Liam blushed back, nodding in agreement. 

“Okay, pictures!” Zayn’s dad reminded them, pulling them out of their own little world with the click of his shutter. 

“Wait!” Zayn protested, “We need the corsage thingies.” She walked over to a small table in the hall, where a pink rose with a black ribbon sat in its plastic box. 

Liam held her own for Zayn, a white rose to match the cream color of Liam’s dress. They had decided against matching, settling for coordinating collages instead. 

 

She pretended not to notice the way Zayn’s hands were shaking a little when she slid the flower around Liam’s wrist, pressing a kiss to the side of her cheek as she went. 

Liam did the same, fumbling awkwardly with the plastic box before finally freeing the corsage and slipping it onto Zayn’s wrist. 

 

They posed for pictures, standing together cheesily at the bottom of the stairs as Zayn’s dad snapped away. 

“Dad, we’ve gotta go meet Harry and Niall!” Zayn whined after a while, fidgeting restlessly at Liam’s side. 

“Fine, fine,” he conceded, “it’s just not every day your only daughter goes to prom,” he added. 

He pulled Zayn into a hug, and Liam smiled at the way Zayn leaned into him. 

 

After goodbyes, and instructions to “make good choices,” which Zayn rolled her eyes at, they were out the door. 

“Ready?” Zayn asked, leaning against the passenger door of Liam’s jeep. She was smiling at Liam happily, glowing under her sparkly eye makeup and red lip stick. 

“Yeah,” Liam answered after a long moment, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend on the lips. 

 

 


End file.
